A New Year’s Resolution

So yeah, a new year it is. Happy new year everyone! *it is not a good way to start a post eh haha pardon me*

I don’t usually make any resolutions in the beginning of the year. Instead, I’ll usually just wait for things to flow over the route (pffft). Moreover, as a not-so-confident person, I rarely find it comfortable to let anyone know what I wish for or what goals I’ve set, not because I don’t want them to support me, but because of the lack of belief that I am able to make it come true, plus the fear of being judged (yes this is what I’m still trying to get rid of, pfft).

Somehow 2014 is a bit different. It has just popped into my mind that I have this one resolution I do want to accomplish. I dont know if it’s me changing or what but right at 00.00 when I heard those freaking fireworks filled the midnight sky, I tweeted what my resolution is (the tweet carried not-really literal meaning, though). By tweeting, it means I shared and let people know what I wish for and… apparently I had just made my first mistake in this fresh new year. I might shouldn’t have tweeted it because the very next day universe was like “Whoaaa you let anybody know what goal you have set so I’ll make it more fun by playing against you a bit. Let’s see if you can still handle that.” Voila! Here already comes the challenging part while 2014 has just been 9 days. I don’t know if I will be well on my way to sticking to this freaking personal goal I’ve set for 2014. *shot*

Maybe I’ll just give it a try, seeing how far I could keep my new year’s resolutions. I know there is a huge chance I’ll fail in the middle of  the process, but I also want to see what I’m gonna do to get myself back on track and continue the journey. And although it’s difficult (see how pessimistic I am?), I’ll laboriously learn to have fun in the process. Yet I wish the real joy has been waiting for me behind every challenge I get (is it too much to ask for?) *Errr you can imagine how nervous I am wholly thinking about all of this while typing it right now*

For those people out there having the same anxiety as I am, maybe this quote from Murakami can cheer us up a bit:

“In your own way, you’re out there fighting as hard as you can, even if other people can’t tell by looking at you.”

We welcome you, 2014!

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